MARK WARREN JACQUES
Index
HOW TO
poems by Mark Warren Jacques
Part I: Disguise & Survival
1. How to Succeed (shortcut to the point)
2. How to Be Liked Without Liking Yourself
3. How to Blend In Until You Disappear
4. How to Pretend You Found Yourself (and Get a Following)
5. How to Accept Compliments Like a Normal Person
6. How to Tell Lies That Sound Beautiful
7. How to Leave Pieces of Yourself in Other People
8. How to Lie Honestly
9. How to Forget the Sound of Your Own Voice
Part II: Fracture & Recognition
10. How to Not Cry in Public
11. How to Stay Put When You’d Rather Leave
12. How to Change Everything and Still Stay the Same
13. How to Be Mad at Them for What You Didn’t Do
14. How to Let Them Define You
15. How to Skip the Whole Life Thing
16. How to Turn Loneliness into a Real Job
17. How to See Everything and Then Forget It
18. How to Make Your Art Worth More by Dying
Part III: Still Here
19. How to Begin Again (Quietly)
20. How to Heal in Private
21. How to Let Yourself Be Loved
22. How to Forgive Yourself for Not Knowing Sooner
23. How to Be Alone Without Being Lonely
24. How to Talk to Yourself Like Someone You Love
25. How to Celebrate Small Wins
26. How to Stay Soft in a Hard World
Part IV: The Turn Toward Living
27. How to Choose Joy on a Tuesday
28. How to Laugh Without Looking Around First
29. How to Take Up Space (Gently)
30. How to Be Kind Without Being a Doormat
31. How to Believe in Something Again
32. How to Let the Good Stuff In
33. How to Trust the Process (Even When It’s Ugly)
34. How to Stay When It’s Worth It
35. How to Keep the Magic Real
36. How to Keep Going (When It’s Finally Getting Good)
Part I: Disguise & Survival
1.
How to Succeed (shortcut to the point)
Lie in the grass,
and give God a new name.
Declare you have won,
and forget why you came.
2.
How to Be Liked Without Liking Yourself
Say what they’re thinking
right before they do.
Nod a lot.
Smile medium.
Avoid mirrors.
Dress like confidence.
Talk like you’re sure.
Stay busy.
Stay booked.
Stay empty.
Let praise fill the space
you won’t enter.
Clap when they win.
Ignore the echo.
3.
How to Blend In Until You Disappear
Don’t move too fast.
Don’t stand too still.
Be pleasant.
Be small.
Be vaguely useful.
Answer questions
with questions.
Agree in lowercase.
Hold your breath
when the room gets quiet.
They’ll forget you’re there.
That’s the goal.
4.
How to Pretend You Found Yourself (and Gain a Following)
Post a photo.
Add a caption that hints
at transformation.
Mention growth,
but stay vague.
Use the word journey.
Say alignment.
Say light.
Start giving advice
in the voice of someone
you haven’t met yet.
Smile when people thank you.
Cry later.
Don’t tell anyone why.
Whatever you do,
don’t stop.
They’re counting on you.
5.
How to Accept Compliments Like a Normal Person
Look surprised,
but not too surprised.
Smile like it didn’t
hurt to hear it.
Say thank you
like it’s not
the hardest part.
Whatever you do,
don’t correct them.
Don’t list your flaws
like a grocery receipt.
Don’t laugh it off
like you rehearsed it.
Just take the compliment,
and hold it
until they leave,
then toss it.
6.
How to Tell Lies That Sound Beautiful
Don’t flinch.
Make it sound like
something you’ve always believed.
Say it kindly.
Say it like a bedtime story
with the lights already off.
Let your eyes do
most of the work.
They always do.
If it hurts,
call it love.
If it helps,
don’t stop.
7.
How to Leave Pieces of Yourself in Other People
Tell them something true,
but not the whole truth.
Make it sound casual.
Say it in passing.
Let them laugh,
and keep the laugh.
Hand over your patience,
your timing,
your best sentence.
Let them wear your old beliefs
like a jacket.
They’ll call it vintage.
You’ll pretend it’s fine.
Watch them walk away,
a little more you
than they were before.
Don’t follow.
8.
How to Lie Honestly
Answer the question
with something adjacent.
Not a lie,
just a better version.
Say it differently.
Say you were fine.
Let them believe you slept,
and woke,
and moved through the day
like a person should.
Keep the details soft.
Keep your voice steady.
Keep your heart
out of it.
It still counts
if the pain is implied.
9.
How to Forget the Sound of Your Own Voice
Repeat what they said,
but with better punctuation.
Quote someone smarter,
or just don’t speak at all.
Lose your opinions
in a crowd of better ones.
Edit your stories
until you’re not in them.
Eventually,
you’ll hear yourself speak
and think —
who is that?
Part II: Fracture & Recognition
10.
How to Not Cry in Public
Pick a fixed point
on the wall,
or the sky,
or your shoe.
Breathe.
Blink.
Swallow.
Don’t speak.
Don’t move too much.
Don’t think about
the last thing they said,
or the first thing they didn’t.
Save it
for the car,
for the shower,
for nobody.
You’re doing fine.
11.
How to Stay Put When You’d Rather Leave
Make a pros and cons list.
Don’t look at it.
Sit where they can see you.
Smile when you’re supposed to.
Answer like you’re still here.
Convince your body
to be patient
with your mind.
Let the minutes pass
like polite strangers.
Let the ache
be background noise.
You can leave tomorrow.
(You won’t.)
12.
How to Change Everything and Still Stay the Same
Read the book.
Take the course.
Feel enlightened,
less remorse.
Make a plan.
Buy the mat.
Light a candle.
Cut the fat.
Set the alarm for five a.m.
Hit snooze.
Repeat.
Forget again.
Tell your friends
that change is near.
Tell yourself
you’re almost clear.
Then do what you always do instead.
It’s easier
to stay in bed.
13.
How to Be Mad at Them for What You Didn’t Do
Wait for them to guess
what you forgot
to name,
or ask,
or even want.
Then blame them hard
when they get it wrong.
Hold that anger
for way too long.
Say they failed.
Say they withdrew.
Say all the things
you didn’t do.
14.
How to Let Them Define You
Nod.
Get permission.
Pivot.
Eventually forget
you had other plans.
15.
How to Skip the Whole Life Thing
Don’t show up.
Skip the assignment.
No name,
no face,
no filing cabinet of flaws.
No small talk.
No birthdays.
No waiting rooms.
You won’t have to quit college.
You won’t have to unlearn your parents.
You won’t get dumped at a gas station
outside San Francisco.
There will be no photos of you
to look back on.
No version of yourself
you could’ve become
if only.
You’ll be a perfect idea.
Untouched.
Unmade.
Unruined.
God, what a relief.
16.
How to Turn Loneliness into a Internet Job
Sign in.
Check out.
Stay logged on.
Scroll instead of speaking.
Comment instead of reaching.
Convince yourself
you’re being productive.
17.
How to Forget You are Alive
Shower.
Toast.
Emails.
By lunch,
you remember
you forgot,
it’s your birthday,
but you keep moving.
18.
How to Make Your Art Worth More by Dying
Be alive
long enough
to be overlooked.
Stay broke.
Stay patient.
Let the inbox pile up
with silence.
Then die.
Not too late.
Not too clean.
Nothing preventable.
Let someone find your work
in a box
labeled maybe.
Let someone else
frame it.
Hang it.
Price it.
They’ll say you were ahead of your time.
They’ll say it’s tragic.
They’ll say it makes sense now.
They’ll never get to ask
if you were tired,
if you were done,
if you meant to go.
Your name will be spelled correctly
on the plaque.
That’s something.
Part III: Still Here
19.
How to Begin Again (Quietly)
Wake up slow.
Don’t check your phone.
Drink something warm.
Breathe on purpose.
Forget the list.
Start with what’s in reach.
Let the day
introduce itself
without a plan.
20.
How to Heal in Private
Log off.
Stay in.
Write it down.
Delete it later.
Cry until you hiccup.
Laugh before you’re ready.
Don’t explain.
Don’t post.
Just be.
21.
How to Let Yourself Be Loved
Stop apologizing
for being tired.
Let someone see
the part of you
that isn’t ready.
Let the compliments land.
Let the silence stay.
You don’t need to be shiny
to be held.
22.
How to Forgive Yourself for Not Knowing Sooner
You didn’t see it —
because you couldn’t.
You didn’t do it —
because you weren’t ready.
It’s not weakness
to grow later.
It’s still growth.
23.
How to Be Alone Without Being Lonely
Take yourself out
without waiting for a reason.
Notice how the light
sits on the table beside you.
Listen to your thoughts
until they stop
shouting.
24.
How to Talk to Yourself Like Someone You Love
Use your soft voice.
Use your first name.
Tell yourself
you’re doing enough.
You’re tired, not broken.
You’re growing, not lost.
Repeat as needed.
25.
How to Celebrate Small Wins
Send the email.
Fold the laundry.
Don’t scream in traffic.
Call it heroic.
Call it momentum.
Light a match,
not fireworks.
26.
How to Stay Soft in a Hard World
Don’t armor up.
Tend to the bruise.
Cry when the movie earns it.
Say “I miss you”
before it’s cool again.
Let your heart be glass —
but thick glass.
Part IV: The Turn Toward Living
27.
How to Choose Joy on a Tuesday
Put your hand out the car window.
Wear the good socks.
Buy the mango.
Light the candle.
Dance.
28.
How to Laugh Without Looking Around
Find something dumb.
Find something real.
Let it break your face open.
Forget the setup.
Forget the cool.
Let yourself sound ridiculous.
Let yourself be the punchline.
29.
How to Be Space
Walk like you belong there.
Speak after thinking it through.
Lean in.
There’s room.
30.
How to Be Kind Without Being a Doormat
Say no
like it’s a full sentence.
Say yes
like it’s a gift.
Hold doors open,
but walk through them too.
Let people in,
but keep a chair
for yourself.
31.
How to Believe in Something Again
Start small.
A clean cup.
Let wonder
have a seat at the table.
Let beauty interrupt you.
32.
How to Let the Good Stuff In
Say “thank you”
without qualifications.
Notice the warmth.
Name it.
Take the compliment
and don’t hand it back.
33.
How to Trust the Process (Even When It’s Ugly)
Make the thing.
Hate the thing.
Keep going.
Rest.
Return.
Revise.
Look back later —
you’ll see the gold
sticking to your fingers.
34.
How to Stay When It’s Worth It
Make a new list.
Look at it.
Stay where your gut
says yes —
even if your fear says run.
Water it.
Wait.
35.
How to Keep the Magic Real
Believe in the moment
Notice coincidence.
Smile at the moon.
36.
How to Keep Going (When It’s Finally Getting Good)
Don’t sabotage it.
Don’t wait for the fall.
Let yourself enjoy
what you worked for.
You made it.
This is the view.
Stay awhile.